“Do something!” say the self-help gurus. Sounds cool, but there is a problem, especially when you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. You do something like exercise or whatever it is you do, out of fear of what may come for not doing something. You do these things out of fear of being shamed or guilt-tripped.
You do not do something today to get over yesterday’s regret. That is childish thinking; I will do something to cover up something bad, after all, I am entitled to skip my emotional pains. I cannot afford to bear a bad mood…
Pessimist enters the therapist’s room
“Oh God, here he is again,” the therapist said in his mind while smiling at the pessimist.
Therapist: How are you today?
The wall clock, the therapist, and the entire room froze for some moments as if eagerly waiting to hear positive news from the pessimist’s mouth.
Pessimist: Not good really. Is that okay?
Therapist: Yes, of course, it is good to feel not so good sometimes.
Pessimist: So does that mean I am feeling good?
The wall clock, the therapist, and the entire room went back to their normal business as being disappointed to…
I never thought
the end of today’s breakfast
would mark the end of the plate
in which I usually have my food
lost in inattention aka thoughts
consumption of food done
emptying the remainings on to the garbage box
while busy greedily consuming garbage thoughts
and then moved on to wash the plate
the plate slipped between water and my palms
hit on the side of the sink
a sound, then three solid pieces
that broken plate
in my hands
a bitch-slap from life
or I just playing the victim
yet it felt so
but luckily my hands weren’t injured
carry your burden
your mechanical suffering
the robotic conditioning
the ego control program
carry your burden
but now by being awake to it
— conscious suffering —
stand as the I that sees
I is simply “being awake”
without “righteously” blinding
to the comfort of mechanical suffering
when I, suffering is conscious, meaningful
when ego, suffering is utter wastage
Only I bears the uncertainty
of not falling back into
the known mechanical suffering — our comfort zone.
I once met a car mechanic. He knew my brother and they talked while I and one of my friends listened to their conversation. After some time, the conversation was about his drinking habit. That mechanic was also an alcoholic.
Every morning, he would wake up and start drinking before going to work. Just enough to get through the day. It was during the evening, after work and daily engagements, that his real drinking feast began. He would be in his room, drinking and cursing his ex-wife until he falls asleep.
While talking about his drinking habit, he could not…
“So, what are you?”
“Ahh. I am a Youtuber.”
“That’s really cool.”
“Yes. I guess it is.”
“Well, what’s your channel name? I will subscribe to it straight away.”
“Yeah? But I don’t have anything like that.”
“You just told me that you are a Youtuber.”
“Yeah. I call myself so. I actually watch Youtube videos the whole day.”
“Oh. Shit. You just sit and watch crappy Youtube videos the whole day?”
“Hmm. That’s right.”
“That sucks man. Like, get a life already.”
“Okay. Well, what about you? What do you do anyway?”